I didn't sit down intending to write about spiders, but here we are.

I only have 9 days left in San Diego. I guess technically 8 days, given I’m leaving on the 20th. And as I look around my apartment, I feel completely unprepared. Are we ever really prepared for big life moments like this?

This will be my second move in the past 10 months. My last move felt horrific. I only had one month to downsize, to sell, to pack. And it was in the dead of winter when all I wanted to do was Netflix and chill. So that move quite literally felt like a nightmare. 

This move feels lighter. I’ve been preparing for this move almost all year. I’ve been donating, selling, donating some more. Making runs to Buffalo Exchange and getting some cute little outfits in exchange for my donations (the best). I’ve been clearing out drawers and closets. Isn’t it wild how many things ONE person can accumulate? 

As I'm sitting here writing this, a spider just crawled across my couch (I saved him and placed him outside, don’t worry). Every time there are big shifts approaching in my life, spiders start appearing. For me, spiders represent weaving a new web. Spiders have the ability to wrap up their silk and travel to a new location and build something even more beautiful. Waitttt, are spiders Nomadic? All I can see now is a little spider with a backpack and hiking stick  traveling to new spots every month. 

I know I have some sort of connection to spiders. There was a spider in my last backyard and she kept weaving her web in the walkway, which meant I had to keep clearing part of her web. One day, I asked if she could build her web on the other side of the walkway and leave a path for me to walk through. And get this - the next day, her web was perfectly out of my path. I meannnnn. Coincidence? I don’t think so. She heard me. And we came up with a plan that worked well for both of us. 

At another apartment of mine, my front porch had spiders all over the awning and I was so afraid they were going to fall on me (which was really ruining my vision of relaxing on the porch with a glass of wine). When my dad came into town, we went to Home Depot and got some bug repellent. We sprayed it. Thirty minutes later, all of the spiders were hanging from the awning and they all looked like they were writhing in pain. It BROKE me. I felt like I could feel their pain. I was googling whether spiders feel pain. I could not believe that I did this. 

The next day, dead spiders were on the porch floor. And birds came up to eat them. Meaning that the poison from the spiders was now in the birds. And that whatever ate the birds would have that same poison within their body. And that was a very eye opening moment for  me. To witness the circle of life in action. And how one tiny insect being poisoned could start an entire chain of events.  

I didn't sit down intending to write about spiders, but here we are. Change is coming. And I’m ready for it.