women have to rage. men have to cry.
I had a consultation call with a Somatic Therapist recently and I told her that I was processing a lot of anger. Anger towards myself, anger towards other people, towards past events in my life. She told me that right now, the divine feminine and divine masculine are coming into balance. Which means that the women have to RAGE and the men have to CRY, the two emotions that are considered “unacceptable” for each of us.
And it reminded me of when I was in Arizona for my cousin's bachelorette, sitting in a circle with about 10-12 women. We were talking about politics, our menstrual cycles, women’s rights, the patriarchy - and one of my takeaways from that moment was that the women be ANGRY. And when I say this, I mean collectively. The women are fucking pissed. Whether you’re married, single, a mother, never want to have children – there is some form of anger boiling up in each of us. About what? Honestly, it can run the gamut these days. And in the end, the “what” doesn't really matter. All that matters is that we acknowledge the rage and let it MOVE.
So one of my new favorite ways to rage is going to the gym, putting on my Angry Workout Playlist, and slamming balls on the ground, slamming ropes on the ground, slamming my fists into punching bags. And damn, it works. I’ve done this twice now since learning from a beautiful psychic about my anger.
I had a very impromptu psychic reading with The Soul Shaman in San Diego and she told me that I have a lot of anger…but that I call it being “annoyed” or “stressed”. Which is hilarious because I am constantly annoyed, so that checked out. And since that day, I am able to see how often I get angry about something and then immediately gaslight myself. A lot of the time, it’s because I want to avoid confrontation or making someone uncomfortable. Or because it feels ridiculous to be angry over something “so silly”. So I play the cool girl, everything is fine, I’m fine, it’s cool. When really I am FUMING inside. So now is the chance for me to express how I feel when I feel it. And part of that is moving my body so that I can let my emotions flow.
About a month ago, I wasn’t able to cry. I was blocked. Even when I was watching shows like Love on the Spectrum (which always makes me cry!!), I was numb to it. And since getting back into a movement practice, primarily something that allows me to make loud noises or slam things and listen to music that’s so aggressive that it makes me laugh (ummm System of a Down, anyone?), now I’m able to cry again. I’ve unblocked myself.
It's a constant practice. I’m learning to see anger and rage as beautiful tools. Anger is creation energy - it’s fire, it forces us to make changes in our lives, changes in the world. Anger is truly transformative if we let it be.
Let’s rage,
-MJ
