loneliness isn’t reserved for any one type of person
What is loneliness? It can look different to everyone. What I've learned is that one simple phone call, one conversation with a stranger, really has the ability to make you feel instantly connected again. Because maybe loneliness is a story that we make up. Maybe we just need to get out into the world, step outside, breathe in the fresh air.
But for real, loneliness is a global pandemic. You can be single, living alone, and be lonely. You can have a massive group of friends you see everyday, and be lonely. You can be surrounded by family and kids at all hours of the day and feel lonely. Loneliness isn’t reserved for any one type of person. Loneliness can affect anyone, anytime, anywhere. None of us are safe from it.
And from past experience, my moments of loneliness are typically when I find myself. When I explore. When I expand. When I reach. When I force myself to go outside of my comfort zone. To grab dinner by myself, head to an open mic show, go to a concert solo (crazy talk!). And slowly but surely, a confidence builds within me that I don’t need any specific person to make me feel good, because I am here for myself. Always. I have the ability to make a change, do something different, try something new, and SURPRISE MYSELF.
Because life isn’t all about the highs. We need the lows to find the highs. To lead us to the new. To create SPACE for something to heal…for something to emerge. It’s an ebb and flow. We have to embrace the highs AND the lows. Because that's part of life, that’s the balance. And wouldn’t life be so boring if we knew what was coming every step of the way? How boring would it be to never be surprised again, to never feel the MAGIC around us? I’d rather feel it all. Be surprised, be shocked, be sad, be happy. And see these emotions as guides, as teachers, leading us into some future version of ourselves that we never even dreamed of.
As I’m writing this, I’m sitting at Sister’s Pizza with two slices of pizza and a glass of pinot grigio. I WAS sitting at home watching Hannah and Des bone all over the place in Summer House…kinda giving me hope for finding my person actually. But I was antsyyyyyy. Feeling like I had no one to text to hang out with, or worse, there was no one that I wanted to be around. Which is always so confusing - like I feel lonely, but there’s also no one I want to be around at the same time. What is that all about? Anyways, this pizza is the bomb, I'm in the sunshine, and had an amazing phone call with my bestie which gave me some pep.
And now look at me inspiring myself - there is a concert tonight down the street, and this B is buying a ticket. I don’t know the band, have no idea if I’ll be exhausted for this 8pm show (granny status), but I’m doing it. Because I have to get back into the routine of doing the uncomfortable things again, putting myself out there. And stop making freaking excuses!
And as I’m about to sign off, Lady Gaga - Garden of Eden just started playing and now I’m pumped. Talk to you girlies next week!
xoxo, MJ (you thought of Gossip Girl, didn’t you?)
Follow up…the concert was AMAZINGGGGG and these women brought me back to LIFE! Song recommendations:
You’re not special, Babe - Orla Gartland
Cowboy Tumbleweed - FIGHTMASTER
