ask the questions that feel stupid or obvious
Am I too quick to make assumptions about other people? Like they show me one side of themselves and then I just fill in the rest? As if I can sum up the existence of one person from the tid-bits of information that I learn within the first couple weeks of meeting them. I assume they won’t want to eat dinner somewhere because “they won’t like it” or that they won’t want to come to this show because that’s “not their type of music”. I assume instead of just ASKING. Instead of being CURIOUS.
First of all, that’s so unfair to the other person. And how am I ever going to continue to learn about anyone in my life if I continue to make assumptions. I’m sure most people know the saying “ to ASSUME is making an ASS out of U and ME”. Clever little saying.
I’m having this realization after knowing someone for the last 3.5 weeks. So like - barely know the person. Yet I act as if I know everything about their life, their day to day routines, their music choices, the inner workings of their mind. After 3.5 weeks!! Needless to say, I gotta chill. And then it makes me think of the assumptions I must make about people that I’ve known for my entire life. And it makes me want to get curious. Ask the questions that feel stupid or obvious. And let them surprise me.
Because you know what, we all change. We are changing every single day. I can honestly say that I am a completely different human than I was yesterday. We’re always changing, always evolving, always growing. Which means that our preferences change, how we enjoy spending our time changes, our friends change, our habits change. WE change. It reminds me of this song I love right now and where he says “21st century life should come with a warning”. In a world where everything moves at rapid speed, there is no room for assumptions.
A couple months ago, I grabbed cocktails with someone I dated back in 2021. He said something to the effect of “you’re so sure of who you are, yet you’re always seeking and searching for more”. Which OMG - such a compliment. And he said that it scared him back then. The fact that I was constantly seeking, and therefore constantly changing, was scary to him. And that was wild to hear. The fact that my seeker energy could be perceived as scary to some people. When that’s one of the things I love most about myself and that I love most about other people.
In fact, the thing that scares me most is staying stagnant. The vision that comes to mind is a green sludgy murky pond with no movement. Sure, there’s an entire beautiful habitat and ecosystem there. But I choose to be like a river. Constantly in motion, swerving around corners, rolling over stones. Enjoying every twist and turn, whether rapidly or leisurely. Ending up in a new space every day. Seeking. Changing. Curious.
